Issue 9: Busman's Holiday

Half term is approaching. Or, for some of you lucky enough to get two weeks off in October, it’s already arrived.

Autumn term is a killer, isn’t it? We need change!  But more on that later.

For teachers who are parents, though, half term is a bit of a busman’s holiday. The forecast for next week, at least up here in Yorkshire? Grey skies, wind and rain. In other words, indoor activity weather.

And so, while trying to embrace the peace and quiet of half term, we find ourselves trapped in soft play centres and trampoline parks, with the noise of far more than 30 children ringing in our ears.

Somewhere in the distance, a child falls over and starts wailing. After suppressing the instinct to reach for a wet paper towel, you shrug.

Ah well, you think. At least they’re not mine.

Happy half term. Let’s begin!

Satirical education news that has probably actually happened.

A CEREAL box donated to a primary school for junk modelling has returned home with restrictions on its movement, alteration and disposal.

The former Shreddies box has been converted into a house for Year 2’s Great Fire of London topic. Parent Claire Watson has been informed that it must now be kept indefinitely.

Watson said: “We were specifically asked to send in things we didn’t want. Nobody mentioned we’d be getting them back.”

The structure now occupies the centre of the dining table, where family meals are conducted around a small section of Pudding Lane.

An offer to photograph the house before recycling it has resulted in the family now being responsible for both the house and a photograph of the house.

Its architect, Oscar, aged six, has shown no interest in the building for four days but immediately detected an attempt to move it behind a fruit bowl.

Conservation work is ongoing, with Watson required to retain three detached roof tiles made from the flaps of a Weetabix box.

“They’ve spent three weeks learning how the houses burned down,” Watson added. “I don’t see why we can’t just burn this one down too. I’m trying to support the curriculum.”

Oscar has declined a proposal to display the house in his bedroom.

“I haven’t got room,” he said. “Anyway, I made it for Mum.”

Your school problems, answered with advice of questionable usefulness.

Dear Anonymous,

I hear you.

So, I had a play with this earlier in the week. My starting point was simple: no more than six weeks in school without a break. And, to make it even more realistic, I’ve done it with the same amount of holiday overall. Just to appease the ‘ThEy GeT ToO MaNy HoLiDaYs’ brigade.

Here’s the rough idea, starting the school year in late August:

39 school weeks, including INSET.
13 weeks of holidays.
No stretch longer than six weeks.

The trade-off is two weeks from summer. One gives us an extra break during autumn. The other gives us an extra week at Christmas.

Four weeks in summer. I know, I know.

But three weeks at Christmas? A chance to get through the shopping, wrapping, travelling and family visits, then actually have a bit of a holiday?

And an autumn where we get a break before we find ourselves telling a five-year-old, “Come on, look more shocked! You’ve just been told you’re having a baby!”

I think there’s something in it.

What do you reckon?

Education news that actually did happen.

LEADERS at Hull Collaborative Academy Trust travelled to New Zealand and the US on educational visits, newly obtained documents reported by Schools Week reveal.

I’ve clearly been filling in the CPD request form incorrectly. Under “destination”, I’ve been putting “the hall”.

The historic trips included a New Zealand visit in 2017, with £69,170 documented for that project. Papers also suggest £8,355 was spent on flight upgrades.

Most teachers consider their CPD seating upgraded if their knees fit underneath the table.

The trust said the visits involved observing practice and delivering presentations, and that the New Zealand project received research grant funding.

There are schools in Slough too, of course. But New Zealand has mountains, lakes and spectacular scenery. And if you’re going to discover that ‘relationships are important,’ you might as well have a nice view.

A DfE investigation, published in July, found incomplete travel records, unclear processes for approving expenditure and unmanaged conflicts of interest.

The trust has previously stressed that the issues concerned historic systems and governance arrangements.

Incomplete records are particularly striking in a profession where taking Year 2 to a pond can generate enough paperwork to fill it.

You’d think an international educational visit would leave quite a substantial evidence folder. At the very least, somebody could have photographed a leader looking thoughtfully at a display.

Read the full story in Schools Week

One thing that might make your life slightly easier.

A music lesson that doesn’t begin with a search for thirty functioning glockenspiels.

Chrome Music Lab’s free Song Maker lets children compose a tune by clicking squares on a colourful grid. They can play it back, change the notes and share their finished piece with a link. No account or download needed.

Try building a short repeating tune together on the board. Ask the class to choose two notes to change, then listen again and discuss the difference. Children could also work in pairs to create their own.

A useful way into composition, especially if your musical expertise currently extends to pressing play in assembly.

Have a play with Song Maker.

Voluntary participation time:

Would you trade two weeks of summer for shorter terms?

Give me your thoughts on my earlier suggestion. Same amount of holiday overall. No teaching block longer than six weeks.

Tell me what you’d keep, what you’d change, or why I should never be allowed near a school calendar again.

Just reply to this email. A couple of sentences is plenty, and your answer may feature anonymously in a future issue!

Please read and action.

And there we are, thank you for reading!

If you enjoyed it, please forward it to another teacher who could use a laugh.

See you next Thursday! Have a great break!

Mr Firth